Convo #11: Role play teasing with high value velocity and sexual frame

Reader Red_rover writes:

Can you please analyze my teasing and sexual frame in this convo?

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“Are you sure it’s smart to send nudes over university email?” was a great tease. It implies that her “I wanna send u something” was a transparent attempt to send you nudes, catapulting the conversation into a highly advantageous sexual frame. Continue reading “Convo #11: Role play teasing with high value velocity and sexual frame”

Convo #11: Role play teasing with high value velocity and sexual frame

Convo #10: Two kinds of teases

Reader Red_rover writes:

This girl is in a sorority I mix with often and we see each other pretty regularly. I asked her out a couple times last year and she turned me down, but we’ve made out once or twice.

Do you think I’m hitting the right flirty vibe in this conversation? And yeah I know the ending is bad. Note that “my little” refers to her sorority “little sister”.

Continue reading “Convo #10: Two kinds of teases”

Convo #10: Two kinds of teases

Convo #9: Discussing party logistics with high-value-velocity teasing and sexual frame

Reader Red_rover writes:

I’m a sophomore in college and I’ve known this girl since we lived in the dorms together last year. Here’s what I texted her last Saturday when she was hosting a party. I think I’m being pretty smooth with my teasing here, but do you see anything I can improve?

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Freeze. There’s no reason for you to open with “What’s up girl” because it’s a low-emotional-value line. It basically translates to “Shall we have a text conversation?” which is unnecessary to ask, and makes it seem like you’re insecure about what you want to say next and need a bit of permission to go ahead with it. Continue reading “Convo #9: Discussing party logistics with high-value-velocity teasing and sexual frame”

Convo #9: Discussing party logistics with high-value-velocity teasing and sexual frame

Convo #8: Logistical Matador technique with an elderly-couple role play

One of us matched a girl on the dating app Bumble, and after some back-and-forth role play, we ended up pretending we were an elderly couple. At that point, we were ready to transition to logistics and ask her out on a first date. Here’s an excerpt from the tail end of the conversation:

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The biggest technique we’re using here (besides the bag of tricks that lets us improvise a good role play) is the Logistical Matador. After hitting her with a string of role play lines (redcaperedcaperedcaperedcaperedcape), we swiftly – perhaps even so swiftly that it caught her off guard – unsheathed our Sword of Logistics and delivered the first thrust: Continue reading “Convo #8: Logistical Matador technique with an elderly-couple role play”

Convo #8: Logistical Matador technique with an elderly-couple role play

Convo #7 – The Unilateral Plan gives us smooth second-date logistics

This conversation took place sometime after one of us went on a first date with a girl, and wanted to set up a second date.

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The main reason these logistics went smoothly is that we hit her with a Unilateral Plan: “U want to do something sporty? I gotta get my pale butt to rancho” and “I’m gonna run there weds at 5” both set up the BATNA that if she rejects this invite, we’re going to be doing something that we think is valuable enough to put in our schedule even before we ever met her. Continue reading “Convo #7 – The Unilateral Plan gives us smooth second-date logistics”

Convo #7 – The Unilateral Plan gives us smooth second-date logistics

One weird texting tip for all your date & time logistics

Say you’ve established that you both want to grab a drink sometime.

You: “We should grab a drink sometime when you’re free.”

Them: “Ya, I’d like that.”

Now you have to figure out date & time logistics. Which one of these texts would you send?

  1. “I’m free any time after 6 on Wednesday or after 7 on Thursday. You?”
  2. “When’s a good time for you?”
  3. “What’s your week looking like?”
  4. “How’s 7pm on Thursday?”
  5. “Do Tuesday or Thursday work for you?”

Got your answer? Ok, here’s our take… Continue reading “One weird texting tip for all your date & time logistics”

One weird texting tip for all your date & time logistics

The Logistical Matador technique

In Spanish culture, bullfighting is an art form. In modern culture, texting is an art form. And when it comes to sending smooth logistics texts, there’s a more artful and higher-emotional-value version of The Tightening Noose that makes your texts flow like the steps of a matador’s nimble dance. We call it the Logistical Matador technique.

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To use the Logistical Matador technique, you text exactly the way a matador fights. Except instead of dazzling your target with a red cape, you dazzle them with emotional-value-giving role play. And instead of brutally stabbing them to death at strategically choreographed moments, you put logistical details into your texts at strategically choreographed moments. Here’s what it looks like: Continue reading “The Logistical Matador technique”

The Logistical Matador technique

The unilateral plan: Your handy all-purpose BATNA

One of our 2 tactics for smooth logistics texts is to communicate your Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement (BATNA). Here’s an example of a certain kind of BATNA:

“I’m going on a very scenic run Saturday afternoon, you should join.”

The premise of this text is that you’ve got plans to go on a run anyway – so if they reject your invite, it’s not a big deal because they can clearly imagine that you’re going to be enjoying yourself on a run without them.

We call this the unilateral plan because it’s a plan you’ve made unilaterally for yourself, so that all you’re doing now is offering them the opportunity to tag along. Continue reading “The unilateral plan: Your handy all-purpose BATNA”

The unilateral plan: Your handy all-purpose BATNA